Curse of the Rubber Chicken
by BrathanxBrucasxLova
Summary: Humor Fic: Jack and Will's lives are changed forever when a certain chicken causes mayhem. Who will surive? Laughs of plenty.


_Disclaimer: I don't own POTC or its characters. This is a humor fic._

Pirate's of the Caribbean

The Curse of the Rubber Chicken

Will charged into Jack's room, infuriated. When he entered Jack's cabin, he saw Jack playing with Barbie dolls. Will watched him while he played.

"Oh, Barbie! I love your dress! Where did you get it?" Jack said in a high-pitched girl voice, holding Barbie and Theresa. Jack looked up and noticed Will there, looking at him strangely. Jack threw the dolls across the room at the wall, and they heard the Barbies scream "OUCH!" as they hit the wall. Jack leaned back in his chair and looked at Will. "Whats wrong, Willy-Nilly?" Jack asked in baby voice, puckering his lips. Will pouted.

"Elizabeth called me stupid again," Will whined, crossing his arms. Then he began to cry, kneeling on the floor. "How could she say that? Why, oh God, why?" Will cried, then took his rubber chicken out of his pocket and started hitting himself in the head with it. Jack rushed over to him and took the chicken.

"How dare you hurt my bff!" Jack roared at the rubber chicken, then he took out his pistol and shot it three times. Jack looked at the chicken, then at Will. "Oh Davy Jones Locker, I just killed a chicken!" Jack screamed, then he started pacing the room, rubbing his chin. He picked a wedgie that formed in his butt from the thong he was wearing. (Normally Jack doesn't wear thongs unless he's wearing one of Elizabeth's dresses, but today he wanted to looked sexy, so he put on his lacy black one) Jack turned to Will with terror in his eyes. "What am I going to do? I killed a chicken! I'm gonna get put away in jail forever! Or they'll hang me!" Jack looked at Will again. "We have to get rid of the body. We can't let anyone see it!" Jack commanded Will. Will stood up and slapped Jack.

"Calm down! I'll get rid of the body," Will said. He took rubber gloves out of his pocket and picked the chicken by its legs. He went over to the window and was about to throw it out until the door opened and Elizabeth came in.

"I heard screaming so I wanted to make sure everything-" Liz was cut off when she saw Will holding the chicken. She looked at them in horror. "What have you done? You killed a chicken! Oh dear!" Liz said frantically. Will and Jack looked at each other knowingly. Will dropped the chicken and held Liz's arms behind her back. Jack went up behind Liz, put his hands under her dress and gave her a huge wedgie. Liz screamed, yodeled, and even mooed. Jack pulled her underwear up higher, so she even touched the ceiling, and some of her tightie-whities came out her mouth. Finally, Liz stopped moving and Jack dropped her to the floor.

"Why does Liz have a zipper on her back?" Will asked. He pulled the zipper down and saw, as Liz's body evaporated into thin air, that Liz wasn't even human, she was a broom. Will and Jack looked at each other in shock. "So that's why she always turns her body upside down and uses her hair to clean the floor!" Will exclaimed. Jack nodded.

"Well, I'm glad that's over wi-" Jack was interrupted as Gibbs walked in.

"What's up, Will-Man and J-LO" Gibbs said, then frowned when he saw the broom, aka Liz, and the chicken. Gibbs looked at them in shock. "Holy crappers," Gibbs said. Will looked at Jack and sighed. Will picked Gibbs up by his hair and swung him around like a lasso. Gibbs yelled at Will in Spanish, as Will let Gibbs go, sending him flying across the room. Gibbs hit his head on the air conditioner and died. Will and Jack smiled.

"Let's go outside before the others see," Jack said, and they left the cabin. They walked across the deck, skipping and singing Barbie Girl.

"_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooorld," _they sang, pulling Pepsis out of their pockets and shook them up, spraying them at each other. Just then, they heard screaming.

"Hey, Gibbs and the rubber chicken and the broom are dead!" Anna Maria exclaimed, peering into Jack's cabin. The whole crew went into room and looked at what they saw. "OOOH, someone's in _trooooooooooooouble_!" she said, and the whole crew went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!"

Rauchen, one of the crew, pulled Gibbs hair out of his head and stuffed them in his pocket, making sure no one was looking. Then he took off Gibbs's shoe and ate it.

Jack and Will locked the door from the inside and closed it, while the crew began to panic.

"Oh, no! What do we do? We're locked in!" they exclaimed (even though the door locks from inside). "How do we get out?"

Jack took a flamethrower out of his pocket and began shooting it at the door. Soon enough, the door disappeared and didn't turn into dust, but instead, into lollipops. Jack and Will laughed and began doing hand games.

"_'Miss Susie had a tugboat, her tugboat had a bell, DING DING! Miss Susie went to heaven, her tugboat went to-'"_ they began, but were interrupted when they heard coughing. They looked over at the lollipops and saw one of them turn into Anna Maria. She looked normal, but she had no legs. She began to crawl away from them, but they grabbed her and threw her overboard. They leaned over the edge and looked into the water. Anna was still alive, and was about to crawl back on the boat when the Locc Ness monster came out of nowhere and ate her. Anna's head was still alive, and she tried to get back on the boat again when the Monopoly guy came to her holding the game board. She rolled the dice on the board. The Monopoly guy looked at her and smiled.

"You have to go straight to jail, without passing go," he said, and Anna screamed in horror.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" she yelled, then drowned herself because she could not live with not getting her $200. The Monopoly guy drove away in his shiny steel car. Jack was jealous. When he played Monopoly, he never got to be the car. Jack and Will leaned over the edge, staring at the Sea Monkeys that lived in the sea with their cities and towns, just as the rubber chicken, (who apparently wasn't dead) drop kicked them and they fell in the water. Big Foot ate them. The chicken laughed and went to the helm, and began to steer the ship, eating the lollipops that were once people. He began to sing,

"'_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie woooooorld...'"_


End file.
